My horoscope this week according to Rob Brezsny at freewillastrology.com...

Maybe you've conceived a child at some time in your life. Maybe you never have or never will. Whatever the case, even if you're a man, I invite you to visualize the experience. Imagine that a force of nature has germinated, and that you are carrying another life within you. Try to approximate the uncanny twinge that a pregnant woman senses when her fetus first moves. This exercise will be a simulation of and rehearsal for the psychic quickening you will soon enjoy.


fuck yes. I am so ready! I feel like i've discovered myself all over again recently and it feels damn good. I realize that i have a long way to go, but i feel like the journey of my self is clearer than ever. Not that the direction in life that i am to take is clear, but the direction of myself is clear, haha, if that makes any sense. I feel very creative, but even more importantly i feel like there is so much more inside of me that is ready to for it's revealing. i know i sound like a cheesy self-motivational speaker but i'm just stoked. I hope the eve of summer's sweet fury finds you all as passionate.

so finally i put up two new poems. I know i said like forever ago that i'd be putting some stuff up, but i got really busy with work and friends and i love it. so i now have this one up called serendipity and another called bracelet. the first one was written for someone particular so excuse the sappy and overly romantic factor. I tried to write while still remaining aware of the audience/reader. I dunno, i think it's still pretty easily related to, i guess i should have written all this on the comments under the piece, but oh well... and the other one i talked a little bit about in the comments, so make sure you check them both out.
so in other news, work is going very well, making some good money before the end of the year so i can survive through next year when i have to make poverty wages (literally, long story, details later...if you really want them). I'm doing fantastically living here in California, the adjustment was great, and I am continually blessed. I am going back to new jersey for the holidays and i cant wait to see all my family and friends. It will be especially great to see my little brothers, i miss them tons.
so leave comments and let me know what you think of my stuff, i really am going to try and keep up with the writing

peace and <3

Life continues as it was, work is going well, and I've having great times with great people. But if I've learned one thing, it's that you can't rely on anyone but yourself. And it sounds bitter, I know, but I speak with sincerity and fondness. It was important for me to learn that you can only count on yourself to achieve your goals, happiness, and desired existence. The other night I experienced something I never really wished to, and I dont want to say it was life changing, but it was definitely eye-opening, in a more real and scary way than i wish to say...regardless I am stronger, more focused, and more attune to the harsh reality of myself, my relationship with others and more importantly the understanding of myself as the basis of these relationships with other people. That probably makes no sense to anyone else, and maybe it's long-winded and dramatic, but there it is. I feel fresh and confident and clear and focused on the what and who, where and when and the why of importance in my life... on another note, i've got lots of words and ideas in my head waiting to be put down on paper, so if you're interested be looking for them. Also, i want to talk about the amazing book I'm reading and my awakening on a conscious level, but i'll save that for another time

Things are going even more fantastically then i could have ever imagine. I've got a great job, met great people, and having a great time since moving to the west coast. The answer to all of my financial problems showed up in a check in the mail, go figure So my spirits have been way up, and that means my frequency of writing has been down. For me it's always so much easier to write when things arent going well, if that's not twisted. haha. without the bad, there would be no recognition of good, right? Anyways. regardless of all that I wrote a new one recently that is themed in despair and sadness. Read it [link] and let me know what you think. And make sure you read my comments on it, I talk about what it was inspired by. Kind of interesting, I think.


peacelove

I've got a new poem up. Its wayyy out of character for me, not sure what i personally think of it. I'm going to have to sit on it and come back to it. [link] Be sure to check it out and let me know what you think. It's definitely a quick read.
So It's been two weeks that i've been in the Sunshine State. It's been a huge adjustment. Things here are very, very different then back in philly/jersey. Some things stay true to their stereotypes, or i guess these stereotypes come from somehwere, right? I do have faith that there are good heads out here, hopefully i'll find them.
Trying to get a job. That's always a fun game, as I'm sure you all know. Hopefully pick up some bartending hours, make some good money. We'll see out that goes.
I plan to have some more writing up in the next week or so, stay tuned.

much love,

colettefay